Resources for Leaders

Today’s Devotional

W14/D5 – Self-Discipline and What I Do

April 7

The need for self-discipline applies in a leader's personal life as well as in the workplace. Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend offer some specific advice regarding how this can be done.

The righteous choose their friends carefully,
     but the way of the wicked leads them astray.
- Proverbs 12:26

“Sarah heaved a long sigh. She'd been working on major boundary issues in her therapy and was seeing real progress in resolving responsibility conflicts with her parents, husband, and kids. Yet today she introduced a new issue.

“’I haven't told you about this relationship before, though I guess I should have. I have tremendous boundary problems with this woman. She eats too much and has an attacking tongue. She's undependable – lets me down all the time. And she's spent money of mine and hasn't paid me back in years.’

“’Why haven't you mentioned her before?’ I asked.

“’Because she's me,’ Sarah replied.” (p. 208)*

That story, as told by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend, illustrates the need we all have to place boundaries around our lives. We need to form borders that will protect us and enable us to develop. Yet identifying, erecting, and living within those boundaries require personal understanding and self-discipline, especially when those boundaries have to do with changing our own behavior.

Solomon warned about the danger of not exercising self-discipline as we examine our close association with others. He spoke about the “righteous man” who is “cautious in friendship.” The man to whom Solomon referred was intentional about choosing his friendships with care, then continued to examine the nature of those relationships (see also 18:24 and 22:24). Solomon knew the harm that could come to a person who chose not to closely examine the personal effects of a negative, destructive, or even “wicked” friendship.

This kind of self-discipline is challenging because it involves evaluating relationships with other people – some of which are extremely difficult to manage – recognizing their destructive attributes, and then acting to change the nature of their relationship or to cut it off. Doing so requires a great deal of personal self-evaluation and self-discipline, because more often than not a good deal of the relationship dynamic – for good or for ill – has to do with us.

Those who hold leadership positions find themselves in need of establishing boundaries on a daily basis. The constant demands placed on leaders force them to analyze and then prioritize their time and energies. Self-discipline is a character trait that helps leaders evaluate what they're doing, stop doing what's harmful, and start doing what's constructive. 

* Taken from Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. Copyright © 1992 by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House.

Excerpt from Handbook to Leadership: Leadership in the Image of God (Boa, Buzzell, & Perkins)